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6個告訴別人“我不感興趣”的技巧

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6 Tips to Telling Someone, “I’m Not Interested”


Someone at work have a crush on you? A friend of a friend who keeps asking you out? Or maybe someone you have seen a few times and you just do not see a relationship happening? It can be really hard to tell someone we just are not interested.

有人在工作中迷戀上了你?一個朋友的朋友總是邀請你出去?或者你可能見過某人幾次,并不想和他發生關系?很難告訴別人我們只是不對他感興趣。

Few of us enjoy hurting someone’s feelings – and we all know what being shot down feels like. So here are 6 tips on how to effectively tell another person you are not interested and minimize the sting at the same time:

我們很少有人喜歡傷害別人的感受——我們都知道被打擊的感覺怎么樣。所以這里有6個關于怎么有效地告訴那人你對他不感興趣同時盡量減少傷害的技巧:

? Be Honest.

要誠實

It is absolutely necessary to be honest.Being honest does not mean giving a laundry list of their faults or being cruel. And although it is tempting, avoid saying things like, “I’m already in a relationship” or “I just ended a serious relationship,” unless that is completely true. These phrases can be especially hurtful if found out to be untrue or can even lead to false hopes. Plus, it is very difficult to maintain lies, so honestly is always the best policy.

誠實絕對很有必要。誠實并不意味著指出他們一大堆缺點或者無情。即使很誘人,也要避免說這樣的話,“我已經在交往了”或者“我剛結束了一段認真的感情”,除非這完全真實。這些話如果被發現是假的會特別傷人或者甚至會給人虛假的希望。另外,謊話很難維持,所以誠實總是上策。

? Be Prepared.

做好準備

By thinking about and planning what we want to say in advance, we can stay honest and keep the message short and simple. We can also deliver our message in a calm and assured tone, and prevent ourselves from becoming defensive. Being prepared helps keep us from being rude or getting into specifics that may hurt their feelings.

通過思考和規劃我們想要說的,我們可以保持誠實和保持信息簡短。我們還可以以平靜自信的語調傳遞信息,并避免變得過于防衛。做好準備幫助我們免于無禮或者陷入傷害別人感情的細節中。

? Be Less Available.

減少空閑時間

While this way is less than upfront, it can make the situation easier for both parties. By filling up our schedule with things to do and keeping busy, we can honestly say we do not have time for a relationship. This does not mean it is okay to make plans (a date or group event) and then ditch the plans. Keep it to yourself that you are making yourself less available so that the person is not embarrassed or hurt.

盡管這個辦法不如上面的,它可以讓雙方的處境更加容易。通過用事情填滿我們的時間表和保持忙碌,我們可以誠實地說我們沒有時間交往。這并不意味著你可以制定計劃(一個時間段或者一組事)然后扔掉它。對你自己讓自己沒空這事要保密,這樣可以讓別人不會尷尬或受傷害。

? Choose a Good Time.

選擇好的時間

While there is no “perfect” time for telling someone that we are not interested in him or her, in the middle of a fancy restaurant or while he or she may be studying for a big exam is not ideal. Since we want the person to be receptive to what we are saying, if their mind is on other things or they are already stressed, they may not be very receptive to what we are saying.

雖然告訴別人我們對他或者她不感興趣這事并沒有“完美”的時間,但在一家高檔餐廳吃飯的中間或者在他或她為一場重要考試學習時這樣做并不理想。因為我們想要那人能接受我們說的話,如果他們的心思在別的東西上或者他們已經很有壓力了,他們可能不愿意接受我們說的話。

? Choose a Good Place.

選擇好的地點

It is important to choose a place for the conversation that does not look or feel like a date. Going out early in the day to breakfast or lunch or even a park bench keeps the setting from being too romantic, like dinner or evening out might. Being in a public place can be ideal, but take care to be sure there will not be friends close by to save he or she any embarrassment.

選擇一個看起來或者感覺不像約會的地方來談話很重要。早點兒出去吃早飯或者午飯或者甚至可以去公園的長椅旁來讓情境不要像晚餐或者晚上出去那么浪漫。選在公共地點會很理想,但要注意確保附近沒有朋友,以免他或她尷尬。

? Beware of “Being Friends.”

謹防“做朋友?!?/strong>

Saying that we like someone “as a friend” definitely can convey the message we are not interested, it can also lead to false hopes that we ‘may come around’ if they are patient enough. It can also lead the person to believe we are still interested in having them in our lives when we may not really want that at all. If he or she was a friend already, and we want to them to remain a friend, then of course we should let them know how much we value their friendship and would hate for anything to damage that relationship.

說我們“作為一個朋友”而喜歡某人肯定能傳達我們對他們不感興趣的信息,但也可能給這些人虛假的希望,就是如果他們足夠耐心的話,我們可能會接受的。它還可以在我們可能一點兒也不想生活中有他的時候,讓他們相信我們仍對此有興趣。如果他或她已經是朋友了,而我們想和他們保持朋友關系,那我們當然應該讓他們知道我們多么珍惜他們的友誼,而討厭任何損害這種關系的事情。

No matter how we say it, we are still rejecting someone, and even if they feel the same way, it can be tough for any of us to hear. Ultimately, we all want to be treated kindly and with respect, so we should treat those we are not interested in romantically just as we would want to be treated ourselves. If we keep these tips in mind, hopefully everyone can walk away without being hurt more than necessary.

不管我們怎么說,我們仍然是在拒絕一個人,即使他們有同樣的感覺,對我們任何人來說聽這個都會很艱難。最終,我們都想被友好、尊重對待,所以我們應該友善對待我們不感興趣的人,就像我們自己想要怎么被對待的那樣。如果我們記住這些技巧,那每個人都很有希望不用帶著那些沒必要的傷害離開。

【大耳朵原創文章,轉載請注明出處】


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